I Wasn’t Going To Post, But…
I had a feeling you were missing me so badly that you were having withdrawals. Yes, I know… I’ve been a bad blogger friend. But I have my reasons. Actually, to be perfectly honest with you, I’ve been on a blog protest. It’s nothing serious or long term, so don’t be upset or take it personally… I’m really just trying to look out for your best interests. Don’t worry… this isn’t some bad break up line like, “It’s not you, it’s me.” I’ll be back in full force soon, but I just have a few pending life decisions that I’d like sorted out before I stress you out every day with my rants… meltdowns… bitching… or whatever. You may think that my recent emotional roller coaster sounds like entertainment, but I assure you, it’s not. And my identity could be compromised. And if that happens, it may negatively impact what is or isn’t about to happen in my life. OK, whatever. Enough of that. Moving on…
Anyway, last night was my friend’s birthday/moving celebration. Even though in my recent lapse in sanity I haven’t only been a bad blogger friend, but a bad real life friend, and I totally spaced and forgot that it was her birthday until the last minute… I ended up pulling something together. Birthdays are my thing, so I’m always down to have a good time and find a way to make my friends feel special on their big days. This wasn’t exactly an easy task seeing how we live in small town hell, but we ended up having a good time nonetheless. She and another one of our friends, the pseudo Cheshire Cat from this post, came by my house for cosmos before we headed out for dinner and drinks at this new bar/restaurant in town. Another one of our friends met us out, and the night was off to a great start.
My boyfriend ended up getting off work a little after 9:00 PM, and he came out to join us for a drink or two. A few minutes after he arrived, in walks none other than Slutty Secretary with another one of their co-workers. While this would always be an inherently awkward situation, since it’s pretty much common knowledge that I can’t stand her, being around her, seeing her face, or hearing her voice, it was even worse than usual and just about the worst possibe thing that could have happened at that moment.
Let me back up. My friend, pseudo Cheshire Cat, is cousins with the wife of the husband that is having an affair with Slutty Secretary. Oh yeah, and she works at the same office as my boyfriend, but is in the same department as SS. Cheshire Cat just found out about the whole thing a few weeks ago and has first hand evidence of the rumors being true. She lives in the same complex as SS and saw the husband’s car parked at her apartment at 3:00 AM while the wife was out of town with the kids. That bastard, I know. Actually, the whole town knows. That and the fact that SS is the most worthless whore known to man. But whatever. As you can imagine, Cheshire Cat has been pretty torn up about the whole thing, and it’s just a really sensitive subject at this point.
OK, so back to real time, well last night real time. So SS walks in, and Cheshire Cat immediately heads to the restroom. SS doesn’t even speak to me, my boyfriend, or my other friend, and tries to get over in the corner by Queen of Hearts and camp out. Once Cheshire Cat comes back, we head outside to smoke a cigarette. Of course she’s upset, but thankfully SS makes the one smart decision of her life and leaves the bar before we come back inside. Stupid bitch.
My other friend decides that we should head out to a different bar to mix it up and find a bigger crowd. Queen of Hearts and I had originally rode with Cheshire Cat, but she wanted to stay back for a bit to talk with my boyfriend and their other co-worker about what to do. So anyway, the three of us head out to a different bar and it’s this guy that we know’s birthday too. We’re all hanging out having a good time, and this random chick (in a freaking t-shirt at a bar) comes up to one of the guys in the group and eventually tells him that he’s not that attractive. He responds and asks her to name a girl in the bar that she’s more attractive than, and instead of doing that, she gets all huffy and upset that he would say that to her. He walks away, and she comes back five minutes later with her Facebook pulled up on her iPhone, shows him a picture, and is all shaking her shoulders and shit and says, “Do you think still think I’m unattractive now?!”
Of course, being slightly inebriated and in the I-don’t-give-a-shit mode (am I ever not in that mode?), several of us are cracking up and making fun of her. I’m sorry, but if you have to show someone a picture that you’ve posted online to justify your attractiveness, you should seriously reconsider. You’re clearly lying to everyone online in hopes that someone may buy into it and believe that you could possibly look semi-decent enough in person that they may want to sleep with you. Just saying.
Anyway, back to my protest. Hope this is enough to keep you entertained until my life is sorted out and I’m back. Until then, peace bitches! 
Add comment January 30, 2010
ccbebe
Tags: affairs, Awkward Moments, birthdays, bitch, Bitches, funny, humor, laughs, Life, love, marriage, nightlife, personal, random, relationships
All I Can Say Is, “WOW”
After hearing the news yesterday about Lane Kiffin abandoning my good ole Rocky Top for USC, I felt like I’d been sucker punched. I’m shocked and appalled, and wish someone would just slap him in the mouth already. Having said that, I do find some enjoyment in the fact that he has branded his family like a scarlet letter by naming his son Knox, only to turn his back on the beloved orange and white a few short months later.
Congratulations Lane, you’ve finally won something… the hatred of the entire Vol Nation. I think it’s fair to speak on their behalf and say, “We hate you. We gave you a chance and you fucked us like Urban most certainly did to Tebow after losing to Alabama in the SEC championship… in the ass with no lubrication. We hope your problems with the NCAA continue and ruin your future ‘career’ at USC. If not, we’re sure you’ll choke again against UCLA, and then your precious Trojans can have you burned at the stake, you prick. Fuck you and your little visor too.”
But hey, I guess Hollywood is only fitting for him. Not only because of his Barbie of a wife, but you know… in case the whole acting like a coach thing doesn’t work out. Maybe he can find a movie role as one instead of being a disgrace to respectable college football programs. Turncoats can’t work for Diddy, and they can’t work for us. Good riddance asshole.
Add comment January 13, 2010
ccbebe
Tags: college football, football, Lane Kiffin, NCAA, Rant, University of Tennessee, USC, Volunteers
Sad Day
The good news is: we’ve had running water since the pipe-splosion repair yesterday. The bad news is: I found out today that one of my few friends here, my Queen of Hearts (see this post if you have no idea what I’m talking about or I sound like a freak), is going to be moving. Next month.
On one hand, I’m genuinely happy for her. The move is a result of her husband getting a better job that’s going to be good experience for him and he’s going to be making more money. On the other hand or in selfish part of my brain – however you want to look at it – I’m totally bummed. It took me a year to find someone that I actually liked hanging out with in this place, and with the slim pickings around here, she won’t be easily replaced. Sigh… there goes my social life… but at least she’s only moving two hours away? Hmm. Yeah. Not really making me feel better, but I tried.
Oh well. That’s the nature of the beast I guess. I’m officially ready to get the hell out of here. Hopefully, we’re next in line for moving on to bigger and better things. Please? Can the job gods smile on us too? Fingers crossed…
Add comment January 10, 2010
ccbebe
Tags: antisocial, friends moving, Life, new job, personal, small town, thoughts
This Can’t Be Good…
OK, so I know it’s not exactly award winning photography or anything, but I wanted to give you an update on our whole water-less situation without infringing on my neighbor’s privacy. For those of you who can’t decipher the image without an explanation, hopefully this will help. On the top right is a typical green utility box; the only thing atypical is the fact that it’s not on the ground and water is surging out of it. Apparently, a pipe burst beneath it, shooting that box up from the ground, and now water is rushing into it and spraying out all over my neighbor’s yard and into the street. After about an hour and a half of this, the water company has finally arrived, but they don’t exactly look like they know what is going on. Anyway, fingers crossed that this isn’t the reason that we haven’t been able to get water today, and our pipes are just frozen. It’s up to 32 degrees now, so maybe they’ll thaw out soon? Please?
1 comment January 9, 2010
ccbebe
Tags: cold, freezing weather, funny, humor, Life, personal, pipe burst, random, Rant
What Do You Mean, “Use A Blow Dryer”?
Like everywhere else, we’ve been experiencing a major cold snap the last few days. Luckily for me, this doesn’t mean snow or anything (knock on wood), but just that I’m not as comfortable taking the dogs out as I was say, last week. While I hate the cold weather – even before Templetons I-VII invaded my house – I can’t complain too much since I live in the south and, aside from the inconvenience of having to wear a coat, it’s not too bad, especially in comparison to other parts of the country.
That being said, those were my thoughts before this morning, but now I think I’ve earned the right to complain. My boyfriend woke up to get ready for work and went into the bathroom only to find… no water. In the house. Anywhere. Yep, you heard me… our pipes are frozen. I immediately called the landlord to see what he could do. Of course I got his voice mail, but he eventually called me back with two options:
1. Pour water on the pipe until it thaws. Hmm… now how the fuck do you propose I do that? You know, seeing as we have no water in the house and all.
2. Use a blow dryer. And don’t do have it on too high, or the pipe will burst. What?!
Great. If you haven’t been able to figure it out yet, (other than the mice hunting) I’m not much of a do-it-yourself kind of girl, and I’d rather just have someone do it for me. Isn’t this supposed to be a given when you’re cute, like a free gift with purchase or something? Or don’t men have some type of a signal that picks up on a damsel in distress needing assistance? I thought so, but since my landlord didn’t exactly offer any assistance and my boyfriend is at work, it leaves me pretty SOL. Ugh. So now I have to bundle up, go out in the 23 degree weather, and attempt to slowly blow dry the pipes without them bursting.
Wish me luck! This should be interesting…
2 comments January 9, 2010
ccbebe
Tags: cold, frozen pipes, funny, humor, Life, personal, pipe bursting, random, Rant, thoughts, winter weather
New Year, New Me
Well, not really. Unlike most people, I’m not a big believer in the whole New Year resolution thing. I’m kind of a cynic that way I guess, but I just feel like if there is something that you really want/need to change in your life, why would you have to wait for a specific day to start and/or have one calendar year to finish?
Anyway, skeptic or not, I still have to face reality at times, and sadly, 2010 means that I’m going to be turning 24 in a few months. Obviously (or maybe not… most of you probably think I’m certifiably crazy, but anyway…) I haven’t completely lost my mind and don’t think that I’m getting old by any stretch of the imagination, but 24 is just a weird age. It’s one of those in between ages (a lot like 22 and 23) where you can’t exactly identify yourself as being a real live grown up and you’re definitely not a kid anymore. But unlike 22 or 23, 24 is only one year away from being 25. Again, not that I think 25 is old, but when I was growing up, I always thought it would take me forever to be 25 and that I would have accomplished a lot by that time in my life.
Don’t worry, I know I got a little side tracked there, but I’m not about to launch into some pity party for myself about what I have and have not done with my life yet. I still have almost a year and a half to be 25 All that being said, it’s beside the point anyway. The point is that at 23 and a half, I’ve come to the realization that I need to start dressing more like a grown up. This transition started after college, and I’ve developed a fairly respectable professional wardrobe since then. But then there’s my real downfall… casual clothes. I hate dressing casually and would wear a party dress, heels, and full make up every day if I could, but being as I work from home and live in a small town, I think my neighbors would start talking about me (more) if I emerged from my house to walk the dogs looking like that. Just saying.
So last night, as part of my mid-20s crisis, I decided to take on the task of getting rid of some of my non-grown up clothes. My boyfriend had already gotten on to me about my excessive t-shirt collection (even though it was only taking up one drawer of the dresser), so I knew this wasn’t going to be an easy task. I ultimately decided that being cut throat was the only way I was going to get anything done, and… success! I ended up getting two garbage bags full of clothes together to donate to Goodwill or something. I know it’s just a small start in my total wardrobe transformation, but at least I think I put a dent in it. Now if only I could get my shoe collection organized, my closet may stand a chance at being presentable. Maybe I’ll save that for 2011…
5 comments January 6, 2010
ccbebe
Tags: 20s, clothes, growing up, Life, New Year's, personal, random, resolutions
Back To Life, Back To Reality
Sigh… Christmas is over. While I still wish every day could be Christmas (or my birthday), I have to admit that I pretty much raked it in this year so I can’t be too depressed. Plus, lucky for me, my boyfriend is realizing the importance of my week long holiday celebrations, so he let me open something early and gave me a couple gifts late too. After all of my excessive begging, he let me open one thing from my stocking several days before Christmas, and it was Super Mario Bros for Wii. For those of you who have the Wii, but don’t have SMB yet, you need to get it… as in now. But anyway, then on Christmas he gave me this adorable black and white print BCBG dress, some black and off-white peep toe BCBGeneration booties, Lola by Marc Jacobs (third letter “R”… number 8 on my list from this post), a Vera Wang candle, some Prada lotion, and the Inglourious Basterds DVD (which we just watched last night and I highly recommend). As if that wasn’t enough, when we got back I had a gray Nike fleece pullover waiting on me and then my new Nike golf bag arrived last night. I know, I know… he really is the best
Then, as usual, my mom spoiled me with clothes and shoes and beauty products galore (Mom, you’re the best too, but you can’t blame me for my brat tendencies) plus these awesome Lolita wine glasses. My sister’s fam and my aunt/uncle got me Ann Taylor Loft gift cards that I got two pairs of jeans and a cardigan with; my aunt and her boyfriend got me this BCBG top that I’ve been lusting over; my oldest brother and his wife got me a cute Ann Taylor Loft top; my other brother got me the new James Patterson book, Witch & Wizard; my cousin got me a Pier 1 gift card that I got five display plates and plate holders for my dining room with; my other cousin made me a photo collage type piece of art that I hung in my bathroom; my mom’s boyfriend got me a Chili’s gift card; my dad got me a random Garth Brooks CD collection and money; and my dog-cousin (yes, dogs get and give presents in my family) got me a cute little print with a Pug in a shopping bag that I hung in my kitchen. What a great Christmas!
As you can imagine, these last three days back in reality at work have been a little rough, but thankfully my boss decided to be generous and give us the whole day off tomorrow for New Year’s Eve… which makes this is my last work day til Monday! My boyfriend, the dogs, and I are going to spend the holiday weekend with my mom and her boyfriend at his house. It should be a good time, and I’m really looking forward to getting out of town for a few days again. Now why can’t every week have a four day weekend? We need to work on that…
2 comments December 30, 2009
ccbebe
Tags: Christmas, funny, gifts, holidays, humor, New Year's, presents, random, spoiled, thoughts
Letters To Santa
Since I’ve apparently upset some people with the “language” on my Toys R Us protest rant (click here if you missed it), I thought I’d include my niece’s letter to Santa this year so everyone could understand why I don’t want to let her down.
“Dear Santa,
I love how much you give out presents. I want to thank you for being such a good man. What I would really, really like for Christmas is a Nintendo DS, and I hope I get it.
Love,
______________”
How could you say no to that? And don’t worry, she’s on the good list this year and her sucking up worked… she’ll be getting a Nintendo DS from Santa on Christmas morning.
1 comment December 22, 2009
ccbebe
Tags: children, Christmas, funny, holiday, humor, letters to Santa, Life, personal
I’m Sorry… But That’s Not Okay
After my 9+ hour drive “home” on Sunday, I met up with one of my friends for a much needed drink (and dinner) at this cute, trendy sushi restaurant in town. One of my favorite things about this place, other than the delicious menu filled with creative rolls, is the atmosphere… and the fact that it’s not exactly kid-friendly. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the idea of kids and I love my niece and nephews dearly, but sometimes – especially when I’m spending an expensive night out – I just want to be around grown ups.
Anyway, my friend and I are about mid-way through our bottle of wine, catching up on gossip, and enjoying our sushi that has just arrived… only to look over to find a woman breastfeeding at a dinner table nearby. Breastfeeding! In public! Needless to say, I was shocked and appalled. But seriously, who does that?! I mean, I completely understand if you make the decision to breastfeed your child, but you need to plan in advance for social outings. Why could she not have pumped before or breastfed in the car or the bathroom? While she did have it covered up, the thought of her exposed, chapped nipple underneath the blanket really sicked me out and I almost gagged on my sushi.
Hungry child or not, is it really that difficult to consider the people around you before you pop out a boob? If we wanted a peep show, we’d be at a strip club.
Add comment December 22, 2009
ccbebe
Tags: breastfeeding, funny, humor, Life, personal, Rant, social etiquette, sushi, thoughts
Toys R Us… Incompetence At Its Finest
As I mentioned in a previous post (click here if you missed it), I finished all of my Christmas shopping early this year to help eliminate some of the stress of the holiday season. Simple enough, right? Wrong. While most of my trusty online retailers have done me justice, my experience with Toys R Us has been a complete disaster. I thought I could avoid the living hell of that place by shopping online, but somehow they still managed to fuck me over.
First of all, it took them a week and a half to ship my order that I placed before the “rush” on December 4th. Seriously. While I understand that they must be extremely busy with the holidays, I am beyond positive that the other online stores that I’ve purchased from – has anyone heard of Amazon or Bed, Bath, and Beyond before? – have been busy too. Either way, busy or not, everyone else has managed to deliver my order in a timely manner, or at the least, by the latest estimated arrival date.
After weeks of waiting for this Crayola Color Explosion Dome for my niece and a Toy Story Kerplunk for my nephew, the packages were finally supposed to come today. Around 1:30, I hear a knock on my door and go to check that my gifts have arrived, only to find ONE package, the Toy Story Kerplunk. I frantically call my post office to see what’s happened, only for the lazy bitch that answered the phone to tell me that she’s unable to track my package. Why? Because Toys R Us shipped the package via UPS to the local post office, and USPS was supposed to deliver it from there. And Toys R Us only gave me a UPS tracking number. I tell this to the woman at my post office, but she says there’s nothing I can do without the USPS tracking number. Then she tells me that if I don’t have it, she doesn’t know how to get it and she won’t be able to help.
I decide to call Toys R Us because, after looking at the package that did arrive, I realize that the label on the box has both UPS and USPS tracking numbers. I think, it’s only logical for Toys R Us, who printed the labels when they shipped the packages, to have both numbers on file somewhere. What does Toys R Us tell me? That they don’t have that information and they don’t know how to get it, and that I’ll just have to deal with it and figure it out if it doesn’t come. So much for being helpful. I ask to speak to a supervisor who tells me the same thing. That I’m just SOL. Great.
This isn’t good enough for me because my niece doesn’t exactly handle disappointment well, and I’m trying to avoid her wrath on my short trip if at all possible. Anyway, I call UPS to see if maybe they can provide me with any more information, which of course they can’t. After about an hour of this nonsense, I call USPS again and ask to speak with someone else. This wonderful man looks up my address (which the first woman told me wouldn’t help… bitch) and tells me that my mailman’s car was overloaded on his first trip, and now he’s headed back out with the rest of the parcels for the day. He tells me to please call him back if I don’t receive it by 4:00 PM, but… success! It came, and all is well in the world again.
But back to my point. I just don’t understand how a multi-billion dollar business (yes, billion with a “b”… I looked up their financial statements to verify), like Toys R Us, can suck so badly at the online ordering process? How can it take 10 full business days for an order to arrive when other companies could have had it to me in five? That means that if you wanted to receive your order by Christmas Eve, you better have ordered with them by the 9th! Not even to mention the fact that they charge for shipping. It’s ridiculous. Then, on top of that, to not even have an actual method to track your packages? Is that a joke?
I’m just glad that I’ve grown up and am not a Toys R Us kid because I would rather gauge my eyes out with a spoon than deal with that place again. Consider this an official protest. Fuck you Toys R Us.
1 comment December 17, 2009
ccbebe
Tags: Christmas, funny, gifts, holidays, humor, Life, online shopping, personal, presents, random, Rant, thoughts, Toys R Us, UPS, USPS
| Previous Posts |
